The Inane Asylum

from nytimes.com:

Microsoft and Google Set to Wage Arms Race

Gates, described Google in an interview late last year as a worthy adversary, a company to test MS's mettle."This is hypercompetition, make no mistake,".The rivalry between the companies is growing more combative, and with good reason: the outcome is likely to shape the future of competition in computing and the way people use information

By using a key to a gas pump and unplugging the pump from the station computer system thieves steal $8,100.00 USD from gas station. Local police tell station owner there is nothing they can do and to call his insurance company.

VIDEO

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"...a Halo 3 video will be shown during a news briefing on Tuesday, May 9, according to IGN."

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A study by US and British researchers on frequency of illnesses shows that even when you compare like groups in the US and the UK, people in the US are considerably sicker than their counterparts in the UK. This is after factors such as age, race, income, education and gender were taken into consideration. The most startling conclusion was that although the richest Americans were better off than the poorest Americans, they did no better (health-wise) than the poorest of the English. Previous studies of the entire population had shown similar results, with America placing around 25th amongst industrialized countries on chronic disease prevention, but it had been assumed that minorities and economics were skewing the results. This study suggests that maybe that isn't the case.

Whole Article

In today's edition of "Way too much time", we bring you Mario Live from Gordon College:

from seattlepi.nwsource.com:

TV Land network plans Mr. T series

NEW YORK -- If Dr. Phil can dispense advice, why not Mr. T?

The TV Land network announced Tuesday that it will start "I Pity the Fool," a series where "The A-Team" star travels across the country dispensing inspiration and advice.

"The `t' stands for talking," he said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I'm going to talk it up. It's what I've been doing all my life."

The series starts in October. He'll offer help to people struggling with personal or professional problems.

"My show ain't no `Dr. Phil,' with people sitting around crying," he said. "You're a fool - that's what's wrong with you. You're a fool if you don't take my advice."

I'm not even sure what to say about this one. I'll let the article and video do the talking. I will however explain "pwned" since someone already asked me this morning. pwned means "owned", which is what gamer nerds say when they kill someone. To use it in a sentence, "Ohhh! You got owned!!".

Read the article for the setup. Scroll down to view the Video.

from sploid.com:

Slaughter at the magic funeral

People who play a computer game about wizards killing each other were outraged when their "virtual funeral" for a fellow player was attacked by a gang of enemy characters.

The game, World of Warcraft, is played by more than 6 million people around the world. And much like the real world, players from one side are required to be the enemy of players on the other side -- it's part of the game's cruel and pointless design. (Gamers are connected to the massive virtual world through the Internet.)

For reasons yet to be explained, a group of players decided to hold a "funeral service" for another player who reportedly died in real life on February 28 ... and they decided to hold it in an open-combat area.

They announced it on a World of Warcraft message board.

A gang of rival players known as "Serenity Now" thought that was a fine way to slaughter a whole lot of enemies with minimal effort.

In a hilarious video that even makes sense to those who have never entered this "Lord of the Rings"-style world of wizards and elves and dragons, the Serenity Now gang raids the solemn lakeside funeral and slaughters dozens and dozens of dimwitted mourners.

But first, an "advance man" goes to the memorial service to check things out. When his marauding horde is just about to reach the funeral, he brutally kills the character representing the girl who reportedly died in real life.

Then the gang makes quick work of all the mourners. Finally, the advance man returns to the virtual corpse of the supposed real-world dead girl. He genuflects and says she liked fishing and snow and playing the combat style of World of Warcraft.

The raid has led to much hand-wringing about player ethics, with many people apparently shocked that a game about wizards killing each other would be used for exactly that purpose.

The funeral raid happened on March 4, and just three days later the brutal video appeared on Google, apparently as a "recruitment video" for the Serenity Now gang.

Even those who found the raid distasteful say it was idiotic for the "funeral' to be held in an open combat zone.

It's not the first time World of Warcraft gamers have taken their hobby a little too seriously. There was outrage last month when a transsexual (in real life) started a club for homosexual players that advertised itself as friendly to such persuasions.

The game company said no, and the whole stupid mess led to 1,000 World of Warcraft employees going to "sensitivity training."

The company recently banned more than 5,000 players and suspended another 10,000 accounts for various virtual crimes.

SO WE PWNED THIS FUNERAL TODAY: SERENITY-NOW.ORG

Nothing says inane like sand...

From the 17th Annual World Championship of Sand Sculpture

This particular one hits home because not only do I hate Best Buy, but I hate the one on 23rd Street in Manhattan even more.

Improv Everywhere Mission: Best Buy

The idea for this mission was submitted by a stranger via email. Agent Slavinsky wrote in to suggest I get either a large group of people in blue polo shirts and khakis to enter a Best Buy or a group in red polo shirts and khakis to enter a Target. Wearing clothing almost identical to the store's uniform, the agents would not claim to work at the store but would be friendly and helpful if anyone had a question. There aren't any Targets in Manhattan, so I decided to go with the two-story Best Buy on 23rd Street.

The whole story plus a bunch of videos scattered throughout the page:
Improv Everywhere Mission: Best Buy

This lady is straight NUTS. You have to watch this video...

Sean Hannity and Alan Colmes interview Shirley Phelps Roper, whose father is the idiot who organizes protests at funerals of soldiers. This is one of the few times that the conservative Hannity and liberal Colmes agree that Roper is an ungrateful nut who has no appreciation for the brave men and women in the military fighting for our country..

from www.biggerpockets.com:

You Think Your Apartment is Small?

Remember living in your first apartment? For many of us it was a small, cramped box.

Here’s an apartment to beat all of the other little boxes out there.Welcome to London, home of possibly the smallest apartment in the world. This 62 square foot flat has all the necessities that $247 a week can buy: a platform bed, bath, wardrobe, and kitchenette (if you can call it that).

I guess this makes sense given the popularity of reality TV...

From yahoo.com:

Shanghai Preparing for 'Human Zoo'

SHANGHAI, China - Shanghai is getting set to open a "human zoo."

Four Australian men will live in a glass box on a downtown mall for two weeks in June, with the public able to watch them sleeping, eating and bathing, a news report said Thursday.

The group, known as the Urban Dream Capsule, has drawn crowds with similar displays in London, Montreal, Hong Kong and other cities.

"They won't turn off the lights or pull down the curtains. They show their whole life, from getting up to going to bed," Karen Chang, the event's organizer, told the Shanghai Daily newspaper.

"People like to watch them taking a shower, so they have to shower at least two times a day," Chang said. "Of course, one can't see the key parts, because there is nontransparent glass in the bathroom."

The 650-square-foot glass capsule is to be decorated in a Shanghainese theme.

Members of the group have been taking Chinese lessons so that they can communicate with spectators, the report said. The public can send e-mail or faxes to them, or put messages on the glass.

"Interaction is a key element of the performance," Chang said.

I think I have found a pretty strong sign of the apocalypse.

Man denied bag says Angels discriminated

SANTA ANA, Calif. -- A man who was denied a red nylon tote bag during a Mother's Day promotion at an Angels baseball game has filed a sex and age discrimination lawsuit against the team.

The class action claim filed by Michael Cohn, a Los Angeles psychologist, alleges that thousands of males and fans under age 18 are entitled to $4,000 in damages each because they were treated unequally at last May's promotion. Women over 18 received the gifts.

Angel officials said Cohn was the only person who complained about the giveaway and that the team is proud of its promotions.

"Historically, we have tried to appeal on those special days that might be nationally noted holidays or special occasions," team spokesman Tim Mead said, adding he could not comment directly on the suit because he hadn't seen it. "We have tailored programs or giveaways accordingly."

The team responded to a complaint letter that Cohn wrote last June by sending him four tote bags and a letter stating the team "ran out of the item that day and had to order more."

"They claimed they didn't have any more bags, but my client said there was a mountain of bags stacked so high a show dog couldn't have jumped over them," said Alfred Rava, Cohn's San Diego-based attorney.

Cohn could not be reached for comment.

This weekend's Mother's Day promotion will offer tote bags to the first 25,000 fans over age 18, rather than cater specifically to women. Mead would not say whether the change was in response to Cohn's complaint.

Rava said the altered promotion still violates the civil rights of fans under age 18.

Cohn's suit names as defendants the Angels and the Corinthian Colleges, which sponsored the event through an affiliate.

from news.yahoo.com:

O.J. Pulls White Bronco Prank on 'Juiced'

LOS ANGELES - In a scene from his new candid-camera program "Juiced,"
O.J. Simpson pulls a prank involving the infamous white Bronco, drawing criticism from the family of a man he was accused of killing.

As part of the pay-per-view show, Simpson pretends to sell the Bronco at a used car lot and boasts to a prospective buyer that he made the vehicle famous, according to a segment aired Thursday on "Inside Edition."

"It was good for me — it helped me get away," Simpson said, referring to the slow-speed, televised police chase that preceded his 1994 arrest on charges of murdering his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ronald Goldman.

Goldman's father, Fred, told "Inside Edition" he found Simpson's comment "morally reprehensible."

Simpson was acquitted of murder. A civil jury later held him liable for the deaths and ordered him to pay $33.5 million to the Brown and Goldman families.

Much of that judgment remains unpaid.

"Any money that he makes, I hope, will go to satisfy the multimillion dollar judgment made against him in the civil case," said Brown family attorney Gloria Allred.

The hour-long program is airing on pay-per-view this month, and a DVD offering uncensored material will be made available soon, "Juiced" executive producer Rick Mahr told The Associated Press.

Other practical jokes include Simpson disguised as an Elvis impersonator, a vagabond selling oranges for money and an elderly man leading a Bingo game.

Simpson was not paid for the program, Mahr said.

"Basically O.J. Simpson has decided to do this because he wants to do it, and he wanted to have fun with it," Mahr said.

Excellent research done to find this clip, the Daily show dug up Bush's speech when he introduced Porter Goss, very much the same speech he used when introducing Michael Hayden.

See the Video

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This is just crazy...

For the first time, a robot surgeon in Italy has carried out a long-distance heart operation by itself."This operation has enabled us to cross a new frontier," said Carlo Pappone, who initiated and monitored the surgery on a PC in Boston, ANSA reported. Pappone is head of Arrhythmia and Cardiac Electrophysiology at Milan's San Raffaele University.

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Apparently Michelle Rodriguez is beefing up her credentials for a rap career..

`Lost' actress Michelle Rodriguez sentenced to jail again

Actress Michelle Rodriguez, who served five days in jail in Hawaii last month for drunk driving, must serve 60 days for violating her probation with that arrest, a spokesman for the city attorney said Monday.

Judge Rex Hesseman also sentenced the former star of television's "Lost" to 30 days of community service with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, stints with the Mothers Against Drunk Driving victim impact panel and the city's hospital and morgue program, said spokesman Frank Mateljan. She must also attend an alcohol education program.

The 27-year-old actress is scheduled to begin her jail term on May 31, Mateljan said. A message left with her attorney, Henry Holmes, was not immediately returned. Rodriguez was arrested in Hawaii last December on the drunken driving charge. She pleaded guilty last month.

The Honolulu arrest violated the three-year probation term the actress was given in 2004 after pleading no contest to charges of hit-and-run, driving on a suspended license and driving under the influence of alcohol, Mateljan said. Her probation on those charges has now been extended until June 2009.

Rodriguez's "Lost" character, Ana Lucia, was killed off in an episode broadcast earlier this month. The show's producers have said that plot twist had nothing to do with her arrests.

Cons: America seems to have finally noticed that Jennifer Lopez is annoying, and moved on. Pros: Dancing is one of the few things she's actually good at.

MTV is impressed by Jennifer Lopez's "Moves."

The network has given the greenlight to a new dance-based reality series executive produced by the multihyphenate diva.

In something of a Real World meets Solid Gold premise, the show will follow the lives of six aspiring dancers as they struggle to make it in the competitive world of professional dance.

The smooth-moving hopefuls include Staci, a former Pussycat Doll who wants to become a singer; Jersey, who hopes her dance moves will elevate her out of debt; Nolan, who has struggled with personal problems to make it to where he is now; Blake, the cocky guy, who makes sure everyone is well aware of his prowess on the dance floor; Kenny, a former baseball player and heavy party animal; and Celestina, who thinks of dancing as the first step in building her own hip-hop empire.

"There are very few people who have attained the level of success Jennifer has. Across music, film and more, she is recognized worldwide, and it all began with dance," Lois Curren, MTV's executive vice president of entertainment and programming, said in a statement.

"Now she will share her experience and knowledge with a new generation of dancers, and we'll find out if they have what it takes to stand up to her expectations."

Lopez, who took an active role in selecting the show's participants, is also slated to make cameo appearances over the course of the season.

"I started out as a dancer and I know what that world is," Lopez said in a statement. "These dancers have dedicated their lives to this and, honestly, the glory is not always there. It's something they do only out of love. It's a tough life and I want to show that struggle."

The show's eight-episode run is scheduled to kick off this winter.

Does this mean Prince can't ask his guitarist for some "chicken grease" anymore at his concerts?

Prince voted sexiest vegetarian

rince has been voted the "world's sexiest vegetarian" in PETA's annual online poll.
The 47-year-old singer is a strict vegan (VEE'-gun) and wrote about ills behind wool production in the liner notes of his album. He closed the disc with a quote from Mohandas Gandhi: "To my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being."

He shares the honor with 25-year-old Kristen Bell, 25-year-old star of the television series "Veronica Mars."

Runners-up in the poll include Natalie Portman, Nicollette Sheridan and Joaquin Phoenix.

Last year, Coldplay singer Chris Martin and "American Idol" and native Oklahoman Carrie Underwood were picked as the two "sexiest vegetarians."

I only read about a half a dozen news stories today, and already two of them are bad enough to blog about.

1. Paris Hilton plans reggae, hip hop album

Paris Hilton says her upcoming album will be a mix of reggae, pop and hip-hop, with the first single being a reggae song called "Stars Are Blind."

Hilton will also do a remake of the
Rod Stewart song "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?," she was quoted as saying in the June issue of Hong Kong magazine Prestige.

"The whole album has so much different music on it. I like all music. It's not like I only like pop or only rock. I want to have something for everybody," Hilton said.

Hilton said she wrote the lyrics to seven of her songs. The article didn't say how many songs are on the album.

She said she had to overcome shyness to become a singer.

"I have always had a voice and always known I could sing, but I was too shy to let it come out. I think that is the hardest thing you can do, to sing in front of people. When I finally let go and did it, I realized it is what I am most talented at and what I love to do the most," Hilton said.

2. Cordless jump-rope can help the clumsy

If you think keeping fit is merely mind over matter, Lester Clancy has an invention for you — a cordless jump-rope. That's right, a jump-rope minus the rope. All that's left is two handles, so you jump over the pretend rope. Or if you are truly lazy, you can pretend to jump over the pretend rope.

And for that idea kicking around Clancy's head since 1988, the U.S. Patent Office this month awarded the 52-year-old Mansfield, Ohio, man a patent. Its number: 7037243.

What makes this invention work is the moving weights inside the handles. They simulate the feel of a rope moving, Clancy said. Well, it's only one handle so far because Clancy is waiting for financial backers before building its partner.

...

The idea isn't all that crazy, said Mike Ernst, a professor of kinesiology at California State University in Dominguez Hills.

"I think it's silly but at the same time if somehow, some way it promotes physical activity, gets kids active, then I'm all for it," Ernst said.

The more he thought about it, the more Ernst said he could see the benefit, adding that the act of jumping, not the rope itself, is what provides exercise.

"Do you need to jump with a rope? You don't," Ernst said. "But I wouldn't buy the product, I can tell you that. I'm not an idiot."

High-tech handles aren't needed. You could even use toilet paper holders, Ernst said. On second thought, he wondered if he could patent that idea.

1. Upload Your Images2. Copy the Links3. Post!

http://allyoucanupload.webshots.com/

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The movie has the largest military cooperation of any movie since Pearl Harbor and Black Hawk Down. Expect a Trailer on the Fourth of July.

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